Author Archives: Jack Boardman

About Jack Boardman

Just a little bit of a Curmudgeon.

“Report, please.”

PREVIOUSLY: Moments after Debra arrived at the Lakeside Bar, and pausing before entering, a gray Dodge Charger pulled into the parking lot. She decided to wait a little longer. “Hello,” the man greeted as he got out of the Charger, … Continue reading

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“Is this bar any good?”

PREVIOUSLY: “I’m looking for trouble. Listen—I’m going back outside in a second. There are some badass folks around the county looking to hire new gang-members. I want to get hired.” “Cool! How do you want me to help?” “Just don’t … Continue reading

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“Howdy Ma’am.”

PREVIOUSLY: From the south—Joey stopped at the Piney Wood Bar. He found just the usual crowd of daytime local-yokels enjoying each other’s company. From the north—Boomer stopped at the Flyspeck Bar.

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“Eureka!”

PREVIOUSLY: “Except for the Silverthorns and Farkleberrys, their memories, as well—temporarily. That’s why you’re here instead of your homes.” “Wyatt’s memory?” “Yes.” “Dammit!” Chris exclaimed.

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“Who, then, will keep an eye on Joey?”

PREVIOUSLY: Juco chuckled, “You’re quick, Mr. Hale. It is Lake Superior.” “If I may surmise, Juco,” Smith said, “We mix with the locals as newcomers to Moosehead County and not break the law here—ever!” “You are correct,” Juco replied, “You … Continue reading

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“Your turn Penance”

PREVIOUSLY: FINALLY—the Entity appeared, “I am PENANCE! Yeah, yeah, I hear ya—be quick with your request—I’m getting whupped at cribbage and I gotta get back—and kick her ass!” “I respectfully request you eliminate an entity who has made my life … Continue reading

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And yet—he persisted

PREVIOUSLY: “Pull over here!” Juco ordered. “Pull over here!” “Why?” Beauregard asked. “Because you have to lose that car—our enemies know that car.” “You want us to walk?”

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“Where’s Beauregard?”

PREVIOUSLY: “I’ll have to leave you folks for a while to regain my strength. I’ve sent Boomer a message to slip out the back door—he’ll be here directly. When he arrives—get your human butts out of here.” “Yes ma’am!”

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Joey just about jumped out of his skin…

PREVIOUSLY: “Yeah,” Joey added, “We had to escape our wives—and his grandkids for a while.” “You’ll have time then to enjoy some peace and quiet over a beer?” “Yes, yes, we will, thank you,” Boomer grinned. “Oh—nuts,” Joey lied, “I … Continue reading

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“Are you neighbors?”

PREVIOUSLY: “Cujo erased their memories of us—remember?” “You’re not joking—DAMMIT!” Joey replied, “C’mon, Boomer—let’s go see how effectively Cujo’s erasure worked.” “Walk—or drive?” Boomer asked, “Driving would lead them to believe that we’re not immediate neighbors.” “Drive—the long way.”

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