Danger Bay Cyber-Story—Chapter Six

Edited by Boomer Jack Boardman

We continue our repackaged re-runs:

[Episode 14(a)—Spending Labor Day in Danger Bay, by Jay Merton]

[Episode 14(b)—Spending Labor Day in Danger Bay II, by Jay Merton]

[Episode 15—the Codger & Fred Jaworski Arrive! by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]

Happy Labor Day, Gentle Readers! It is a fine Saint Paul, Minnesota morning with the temperature a pleasant 65ºF. I was just thinking that all too soon we’ll be reporting temperatures in degrees below zero [[shudder]]!

Pleasant as the weather is in Saint Paul, we decided to have our chipped & well-used “Codger Collectible (January ’07 Edition) Mugs” of organically & shade-grown, fair-trade, Guatemalan-Roast coffee, here in Danger Bay at Silverthorn’s Café instead. We both have a very busy Labor Day in front of us in the Real World.

As we clumped up on the boardwalk and entered the café, we saw Hiram, Sr. behind the counter, Medlar Farkleberry, and an old geezer (who we haven’t yet met) at the counter.

We headed for our usual table, the one by the front plate-glass window when Hiram called out: “G’mornin’ fellas. Please have a seat here at the counter—it’s too early for me to be traipsing all the way over there.”

“Saving your energy for the morning rush?” Boomer asked as we ambled over to the counter.

“The Sparrow is making her first Voyage from the harbor this morning,” Hiram replied as we sat at the counter between Lar and the strangely familiar looking geezer, “Maggie tells me they have 30 reservations for the trip, so I figured I’d better save my energy for REAL customers.”

“Aww Hiram,” Lar piped up, “That ain’t what ya’ told me when these fellers came in th’ door, You said: ‘Let’s jes see who wins a battle o’wills, me—or that stubborn old man—bet I kin get ‘em ta sit at th’ counter!’ That’s what ya said.”

“Stubborn old man?” the geezer next to me piped up, “Just a short time here and he’s already got you pegged!”

I took a closer look at the geezer (in Minnesota—we don’t generally stare at people we don’t know—part of our passive-aggressive nature) and realized who it was: “M…” I began, but was interrupted by Boomer:

“…Jay! We gave him back that name for his own purposes—remember?”

“The ‘Codger,’ as he is known in these parts,” Hiram said, “used to fish commercially, until 61 was re-routed away from Danger Bay. Used to sell fresh Lake Trout from his shop on the pier, but the realignment of the highway caused his business to dry up. In fact, that’s where you guys have your office now.”

“Yep,” the Codger added, “I left the blog, but kept the keys. I have all the passwords (heh-heh), so I can visit whenever I wish, and regale you with my wit & wisdom.”

“But, who drew you?” I asked, taken aback just a little, “You can’t draw worth spit!”

Boomer only smiled.

“OK, there’s only one ex-Codger left,” I thought aloud, “but he says he’s waaay too busy for this stuff anymore.”

[Episode 14(b)]: Meanwhile, back to Danger Bay—where time has no meaning—the conversation at Silverthorn’s Café continues:

“Is this where we meet for the boat trip?” came a voice from the entry. The familiar voice belonged to former Codger Fred Jaworski.

“FRED!” I shouted in greeting, “Wait—who are you now? Are you still Fred? Or, like Carl and this old goat to my left, have you assumed yet another phony identity?”

“Still Fred,” he replied with a smile, “The identity I used as a Codger will do just fine here. So, when does the boat tour leave?”

“Nine o’clock,” Boomer answered, “Still plenty of time. How did you find out about it?”

“Molly emailed me.”

“Jay! Molly’s completely out of control!” Boomer exclaimed, “Fictional characters simply do not send emails to real people!”

“Molly does,” the Codger piped up, “It would seem you imagined a too-strong character. Meanwhile, back on the farm in the thirties…”

“Wasn’t that farm in Owatonna, Minnesota,” Boomer interrupted, smiling, “South of Medford?”

“Codger,” I broke in with exasperation, “knock it off with the interjecting of inappropriate tag-lines, and Boomer—you just HAD to use the banned M-word, didn’t you! This is simply not advancing this Danger Bay episode”

[Episode 15]: First, before we continue with the story, as the “Official Author” of the Danger Bay Stories series here on Our Saint Paul, I feel I must apologize to our Gentle Readers for allowing Boomer and especially Jay to muck up our story line. I should have known better. Go ahead Jay—just try to delete me!

The story continues with Fred, Boomer, Jay and the Codger, all enjoying their mugs of organically & shade-grown, fair trade, Danger Bay-Roast coffee, along with Hiram Silverthorn:

“Fred,” Hiram asked, “are you just here for the boat tour?”

“At this point, yes,” Fred replied, “but this Danger Bay of yours may have some possibilities as an escape destination for me. I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Hiram Silverthorn, at your service,” he introduced himself, “owner & operator of this fine establishment.”

“Pleased to meet you Hiram,” Fred replied, “This is fine coffee.”

“You can blame Jay for that!” he replied, smiling, “Jay took some exception to the coffee we were serving when he arrived and convince me to try this stuff.”

“I’ll just add that to my list,” Fred smiled.

“We’re all here now, Fred,” Jay said, “Carl, Med—oops—the Codger, you and I—at least most of us…”

“I miss Harold too,” Fred replied, “but hey, there are still five of us here.”

“Your math is off,” Jay replied, “there are only four of us remaining.”

“Boomer,” Fred suggested, “is here, right?”

“Boomer’s not a Codger!”

“Why?”

“Why indeed?” the Codger asked, and then added, “He’s certainly curmudgeonly enough! And he seems to always be around.”

Why indeed!

Danger Bay Cyber-Story—Chapter Five

Edited by Boomer Jack Boardman

We continue our repackaged re-runs, with one episode that must stand alone (for technical reasons):

[Episode 13—The Tour! by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]

Our guests were all settled in and enjoying the decaffeinated version of our extra-tasty organically & shade-grown, fair trade, custom Danger Bay-Roast coffee, and various beverages contributed by “swigs!” (formerly know as “Shadbush’s Saloon” and now owned by Ines) as a way to promote business.

“Feel free to enjoy the upper deck,” 1^st Officer Trigg Guudlender announced, “It’s a lovely moonlit evening.”

“Aw, we LIVE on th’ Lake,” Lar Farkleberry replied, “I’d kinda like ta explore this big boat, if ya don’t mind.”

The other guests murmured in agreement—there’d be plenty of time to go on deck later.

Meanwhile crewmen “Howell” & “Gilligan” were in the pilot house…

The guests, after a couple of hours exploring the boat, went out on the deck to enjoy the evening. All too soon the tour was over, and the Sparrow was safely docked in the harbor.

For most, it was a nice uneventful cruise!

Danger Bay Cyber-Story—Chapter 4

Edited by Boomer Jack Boardman

We continue our repackaged re-runs:

Episode 10—The Shadbush Factor, by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)

Episode 11—A Decision! by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)

Episode 12—A Three Hour Tour, by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)

We ended the last episode with:
“A license to do business,” Maggie answered.
There was total silence in the café. For at least thirty seconds.
“You aren’t looking for tax breaks?” Gamboge asked, incredulously.
“Nope,” Maggie replied, with her trademark wide smile—widening.
“Road improvements?” asked an equally incredulous Sam Silverthorn.
“Don’t see the need,” Maggie replied.
“Just the license?”
“Yep,” Maggie, now smiling very wide indeed, answered, “And some kind of flat parking fee arrangement those willing to provide space. We’ll include the fee in the voyage or tour ticket price.”
“OK then,” Hiram Silverthorn said, “If you’ll excuse us, we’ll discuss the matter and get back to you in the morning.”
The Sparrow folks left the townspeople to their deliberations, and went down to the bay where the Sparrow was moored. Ines, not part of the Sparrow operation nor a townsperson, remained on the boardwalk outside.
She was enjoying the cool Lake Superior air and the fragrance of the lake and nearby pines when she saw Shadbush standing in front of his bar across the road. Ines crunched across the gravel of the parking lots to Shadbush’s.
“Excuse me sir,” she announced as she approached Shadbush, “I don’t mean to bother you…”
Shadbush, completely taken aback by this lovely apparition approaching out of the night, interrupted, “It’s not a bother, what can I do for you young lady?”
“I—um—,” she began, “was wondering why you left the meeting?”
“Because I know,” he replied with a touch of anger in his voice, “that the town will agree with those Sparrow folks, and soon we’ll be just like the Cities—gangs, welfare, crime—like everywhere else those people show up! I’m sellin’ out. I’m 75 years old, its time I retire anyway.”
Sensing an opportunity, Ines worked mightily to keep her Venezuelan blood from boiling—and succeeded—for the most part, and then said, “Would you consider selling to me?”
“Sure, but,” Shadbush replied, “do you have any idea what you are getting into?”
“I’m from Miami,” Ines replied, playing on the man’s misunderstanding of big cities, and then asked, “Do you have a price in mind?”
Shadbush, not exactly believing his good fortune, thought a moment, and came up with what he thought was an exorbitant price.
“Good grief,” Ines thought, “that’s chump change in Miami!”
“Fair enough,” she said, “Deal!”
“Really?” Shadbush exclaimed, thinking that maybe he set the price too low—still he wanted out. “I’ll ask Maggie to draw up the papers in the morning.”
As Shadbush was speaking, Ines observed Sarah leaving Silverthorn’s and driving towards the bay in her vintage red pick-up. The meeting appeared to be over as the townsfolk left the café. She excused herself and thanked Shadbush for his time.
[Episode 11]: She crossed the gravel lot to her little blue roadster, and followed Sarah down to the bay where she found Sarah just climbing down from her truck.

“Sarah!” she exclaimed, as she pulled herself from the confines of her little roadster, “I’m buying the saloon!”

“Oh wow!” Sarah replied, “We’ll be neighbors! I thought you came to the Bay for a cruise.”

“I did, originally,” Ines responded, the excitement still in her voice, “but opportunity knocked, and well, I couldn’t help but answer.”

“Great—C’mon,” Sarah said as she started towards the pier, “I have some news for Maggie!”

The two of them hurried down to join the Sparrow bunch on the pier.

“Maggie!” Sarah with her best outdoor voice called out, “The town reached a decision!”

Maggie and I (Molly) quickly walked over to meet Sarah, hoping for the best, but…

“We’ll issue the appropriate permits tomorrow morning!” she announced, “the townsfolk’s concerns were answered, but, there is one little thing…”

“And that would be?” I asked with some apprehension.

“The flat parking fee,” Sarah replied, “$5.00 per vehicle per day of a cruise.”

“Molly?” Maggie, said passing that off to me.

“Agreed,” I replied, “and the docking fee?”

“Lar is working the numbers on that,” Sarah answered, “he’s thinking $500 per month.”

“OK,” Maggie replied, “that is very reasonable, I think. I’ll meet with him tomorrow. Hey, let’s take a celebration cruise!”

“I’m doing the cabbage patch!” Ines exclaimed.

“Where to Captain?” asked a crewman from the Sparrow’s deck.

“How about down to Two Harbors and back?” I suggested, “about three hours.”

“Are you sure we want to make a three hour tour, Ma’am?” the crewman asked in reply, a worried look upon his face.

[Episode 12]: “Sure, why not?” I answered, with some curiosity, “What’s your name crewman?”

“Gilligan, Ma’am.” “Boomer” Gilligan answered.

“Don’t you have something to do?” I asked, more of a suggestion, than a question.

“Yes Ma’am,” he answered with resignation to the inevitable, and with crewman Howell, left the Sparrow’s deck.

As they began preparing the main cabin for the cruise, Gilligan turned to Howell and asked:

“How is it exactly that I was cast as ‘Gilligan,’ Jay?”

“Molly’s idea,” Jay answered.

“Oh,” Boomer began, “Wait—Molly isn’t anything more than a figment of your crusty old imagination! She has no independent ideas.”

“True,” Jay replied with a smile.

Meanwhile as the crew and guests were visiting on the pier, the rest of the townspeople arrived, as word had spread that the Sparrow was about to sail, and all who wished could join the cruise.

“C’mon aboard folks,” Trigg called out, “we’re leaving in ten minutes.”

The three Silverthorns, George Gamboge, the brothers Farkleberry, Sarah & Ines joined the crew boarding the boat. Soon after, the Sparrow was under way and passed the breakwater motored onto Lake Superior. The water was unusually calm for the lake, almost still, as they set a course for Two Harbors.

“We are not fully stocked for a cruise yet,” Maggie announced, “but chef Mac has prepared some refreshments.”

“I’ll have a Brandy-Alexander, Mac,” Boomer Gilligan called out.

“You have work to do, Crewman,” 1^st Officer Trigg Guudlender chided, “better get to it.”

“Yes sir,” Gilligan grumbled, and then turning to Jay he said quietly, “I think I hate you.”

Jay only chuckled.

“By the way, O hated one,” Boomer said as they left the main cabin, “how come you named yourself ‘Howell’ and not ‘Jonas Grumby’?”

“Who’s ‘Jonas Grumby’?” Jay inquired.

“Captain of the Minnow,” he replied, smiling.

Continued:

Danger Bay Cyber-Story—Chapter 3

Edited by Boomer Jack Boardman

We continue our repackaged re-runs:

[Episode 7—The “Locals” Meet by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]

[Episode 8—Yet Another Newbie Arrives! by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]

[Episode 9—A Meeting of the Townspeople by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]

As the crew of the Sparrow returned to the boat, Jay, Boomer & Ines lingered in front, and the Silverthorn’s & Medlar continued their conversation inside the café.

“Pop, I understand what you are saying about being ‘in harmony with the land’,” Sam Silverthorn said as he polished the pine countertop, “but we need the business this tour operation will bring with it.”

“I’m just afraid,” Hiram continued, “that we will damage our place here. The land, the bay and the Big Lake are not really ours, but belong to no man. We are here but a short time in the scheme of things.”

“If we continue to do nothing,” Sam persisted, “All we have accomplished to provide for ourselves and our children will disappear, and there will be no one here to appreciate this place.”

“Pop,” Hiram Jr. joining in said, “I really hate to side with Sammy, but he is right. You’ve worked for thirty years to build what we have, but the town is slowly dieing.”

“Fellers,” Lar, who until this point had just been listening, “I think we kin do this, we don’t hafta change much o’anything.”

“What about all the people who’ll be coming for the tours?” Hiram asked, “The road into town will have to be expanded, and where will they park?”

“Road’s fine,” Lar answered, “folks comin’ here ‘spect it to be rustic. An’ we have enough parkin’ behind our places prob’ly already. If not, there’s space behind th’ saloon an’ store. Them fellers would prob’ly be happy ta let em park there.”

“OK Lar,” Hiram smiled (he always smiles when he speaks with Lar), “Lets get everybody together tonight and talk some more. You may be right, but I’m still worried.”

Meanwhile, on the boardwalk:

“Feeling a little disoriented, are you?” Jay asked.

“Yes,” Ines replied, “I’m not sure if I’m really here, or…”

“It is difficult, at first,” Boomer offered, “but after a while you sort of get used to it. In the REAL WORLD time has passed. Here, time has no meaning—it’s whatever Molly writes it.”

“Spooky!”

“Indeed”

[Episode 8]:

Sarah found herself standing on the boardwalk outside “Cooper’s General Store

“Where am I?” She asked herself out loud, “What is this place and what am I doing here?”

To her left was a well-maintained, but obviously very old red pick-up truck. She looked out into the darkness and observed that she was obviously in a small town—across the road was a gas station and a café. There were a number of people going into the café, but before she could decide whether to walk over, a voice to her left startled her.

“Hello Sarah,” the voice greeted her by name, “Boomer and I’ve been wonderin’ if you’d get here before the meeting tonight.”

Startled, she turned towards the voice and saw two two-dimensional, familiar figures standing next to her…

“Grandad!” she exclaimed, “Hi! I guess I’m in Danger Bay, huh.”

“You are,” Boomer piped up, “and you have an important meeting to attend, since you are a business owner here.”

“You must be Boomer,” Sarah replied as she began to get her bearings, “Business owner?”

“Look there,” Jay answered smiling and pointing to the sign on the store.

“Cooper’s General Store,” she read aloud, “I guess I’d better get over there. I wonder what dog ordinances they have here.”

[Episode 9]:

When Sarah arrived at the Silverthorn Café, the meeting was already under way. As she entered she was nearly knocked over by an eldery man leaving the café saying something about the “village being overrun by those people.”

“We’ve heard the presentation by the folks from the Sparrow,” Shaddock Farkleberry the village mayor, standing next to his older brother, said, “any comments?”

“What got into Shadbush?” Hiram Silverthorn Jr. asked.

“I have an idea,” answered George Gamboge (standing next to Sarah), “but we don’t need to talk about it now.”

“What will this mean for us?” asked Hiram senior, “I’m concerned about the potential traffic in and out of town on tour days.”

“Maggie?” Shaddock asked, directing the concern to the Sparrow’s site manager.

“The Sparrow can accommodate fifty passengers,” Maggie replied, “plus the ten crew members. So at most there would be sixty cars arriving on tour days.”

“Five of the crew members,” Trigg Guudlender continued, “are rooming at my home—all those extra bedrooms have come in handy.”

“There’s room for fifteen or twenty cars behind my store,” offered Sarah, “That should help.”

“We probably won’t need much parking,” I said (in case you’ve forgotten Gentle Reader, I’m Molly, Captain of the Sparrow), “Most of our passengers will sign on for the cruises at Twin Harbors, and we will bus them up here.”

“There is a bigger issue here,” Gamboge piped up, “What do you want from us? These days whenever a business wants to locate in a town, they want all sorts of concessions—like tax breaks—and offer the world in economic benefits for the town.”

“A license to do business,” Maggie answered.

There was total silence in the café.

Danger Bay Cyber-Story—Chapter Two

Edited by Boomer Jack Boardman

We continue our repackaged re-runs:

[Episode 4—Jay & Boomer visit Danger Bay…and meet Hiram Silverthorn! by Jay Merton)]:

The following morning…

“Jay! What have you done?” Boomer exclaimed after stepping out of my house, and on to the boardwalk outside Silverthorn’s Café here in Danger Bay.

As he, rather befuddled, came back through the door, not to my home office, but to the café, I said with a big smile, “Welcome back to Silverthorn’s!”

“You really are out of control,” Boomer cracked as he walked up to the counter, “to have dragged me into one of your fantasies.”

“It takes a bit of imagination on your part,” I quickly rejoined, “for you to realize you are here and not in the real world.. You must have needed a visit.”

“So, you’re the famous Boomer Jack,” Hiram Silverthorn greeted, “I remember you sitting with Jay at the table by the front plate-glass window a few days back.”

“I’ve been here before?” he replied, and then continued, “Jay, was I part of this before?”

“You must not be reading my posts,” I answered with feigned insult, and then turning to Hiram, “You were saying before my young surprised friend came in?”

“My grandfather started this restaurant,” he continued, “after leaving the hopelessness of the reservation in the forties, to start a new life. He struggled for a long time—first to be accepted by the locals, and then to establish this place. It helped some that he became friends with old Phineas Farkleberry, whose gas station brought in tourists.”

“I have a friend who runs the bus service on one of the northern reservations,” Boomer chimed in, “he says things are improving there.”

“You must be referring to Mike,” Hiram rejoined, “he does a great job with those old buses. And yes things are improving. With the small profits from our casino (the bands closest to the Cities make the big bucks), we are returning the money to invest in the res.”

“How so?” I asked.

“Investing in our schools, job training, abuse counseling, alcohol abuse prevention, police & fire,” he explained, “We have a long way to go, but Grandfather would be amazed at the changes there.”

“Do you ever think of moving back?” Boomer queried.

“Our home is here,” he answered mildly, “but we visit there every winter over Christmas. I want my kids to know the old culture and learn our history from the tribal elders, so every summer they spend three weeks on the Res with my cousin. They love it.”

“So, how’s business here?” I asked.

“Better than its been since they straightened 61 five years back,” Hiram replied, “moved it out of town 6 miles east, and killed most of our business. If it wasn’t for Farkleberry’s station, we’d have gone under. And now Molly’s cruise outfit may bring in more business. Oh, and before I forget, thanks for the new organically and shade grown, fair trade, (various blends) coffee source you set me up with Jay, I’m selling lots of breakfasts with that fine coffee.”

“Yah-sure, you betcha!” I said as I drained my mug.

[Episode 5—New Characters Arrive! by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]:

The next morning finds Jay & Boomer enjoying their mugs of organically & shade-grown, fair-trade, French Roast coffee on the boardwalk of Silverthorn’s Café. Medlar Farkleberry has just opened his “Star Service” station (full service only, thank you very much).

Jay said he they were not going to be part of this story, but I guess the draw of Danger Bay is too much for them! Let’s listen in—

“Nice & quiet this morning,” Jay observed, “I see Lar is already open for the day.”

“Dark,” Boomer added, leaning against his car, “not like in the city with all its light pollution, gotta love it.”

“I need a refill of this fine organically & shade-grown, fair-trade, French Roast coffee,” Jay said as he turned to go inside the café.

“Wait fer me fellers,” Lar shouted as he ran up to join them, “I’m ‘bout ready fer some java m’self!”

When they entered the café, they found Trigg Guudlender, Maggie Dokic, and Cyber-Daisy, all except for Daisy enjoying their mugs of (never mind—you know this part). Hiram Silverthorn and his son, Hiram Junior at the counter, and Hiram Junior’s twin, Sam behind the counter were already there.

Also at the counter was a familiar looking fellow in a maritime uniform.

“You look familiar,” Boomer said, a quizzical look on his face, “don’t I know you?”

“Maybe,” the large fellow replied, “name’s Mac, I’m the chief chef aboard the Sparrow.”

“Carl McIntyre,” Jay shouted with glee, “you old reprobate! I thought you were too busy since the “Codgers” broke up for this sort of thing.”

“The ‘Real World Carl’ IS too busy,” I said, “but I convinced the Cyber-Carl, as ‘Mac’ to help me out on the Sparrow.”

And then the café door opened, and in walked…

“Hey I know you,” Jay greeted with a big smile, “You’re…

[Episode 6—Hey, I know you by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]:

“Hola amigos!” the familiar looking stranger greeted, interrupting Jay, “Deseo hablar con el dueño de la nave* ‘Sparrow’.”

“…Ines!” Jay continued, “Welcome to our little fantasy world. Ella es un barco.* Maggie runs the land based part of ‘Sparrow Cruises,’ you know Maggie of course, and Molly is the boat’s captain.”

“Hi Ines,” Maggie greeted, “this is a long way from Miami, no? Are you here to join us?”

“I wish a cruise on your magnificent ship—er—boat.” Ines replied.

“All lake vessels are called boats,” explained Molly, “even the thousand-footers. Funny thing, the smaller salt-water vessels that cross the lake to the Twin Ports, are called ‘ships’,”

“Just a cruise for now,” Ines replied, “I would like to see this Lake Superior of yours.”

“I’m sorry,” Boomer said, placing his mug of organically & shade-grown, fair-trade, French Roast coffee on the counter, “I didn’t catch your last name.”

“Let me think about that,” she replied, “I’ll get back to you. Maggie, let me see your magnificent—boat!”

* Spanish courtesy of “Babel Fish,” any errors also courtesy of “Babel Fish,” I don’t speak Spanish—Molly.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Danger Bay Cyber-Story—Chapter One—How the Cybertale Began

While I am preparing for the next “season” of Danger Bay—we’ll just take a trip back to where it began (and along the way some necessary editing of those early episodes). With some luck, and a little time, I’ll be presenting more of those early episodes bundled into chapters.

[Episode 1—Strangers Arrive! by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]:

Medlar Farkleberry, current owner of the Danger Bay Star Gasoline station (full service only, thank you very much), was opening the station early this fine Danger Bay morning, when he noticed a whole gaggle of strangers over to Silverthorn’s Café.

“This is odd,” he thought, “we don’t get no strangers stoppin’ by much these days, just me an’ th’ boys getting’ our mornin’ coffee an’ stale doughnuts. Wonder what’s goin’ on?”

Now don’t misread Medlar, known by the locals as Lar, by the way he speaks. He is a very cagey businessman—he has to be, he has accomplished more than most big city gas stations have, a thriving gas station in a village that time and progress has passed by. Not only does he have this station, but a marine gas and diesel outlet right down on the shore of Danger Bay on Lake Superior, and that little outlet does a very brisk business supplying fuel to the many long-range pleasure cruisers and trawlers making their way along Big Lake’s North Shore.

Let me introduce myself. I’m Molly Halloran, soon to be the manager of the Sparrow Big Lake Cruise Company here in Danger Bay, and the Second Officer of the MV Sparrow. The Sparrow, owned by Jay Merton, “Boomer” Jack Boardman and I, will be based at Danger Bay.

Although Lar doesn’t know it yet, the strangers at the café are Jay, Boomer, & I, my fiancé, Joe Kewl, retired banker Trigg Guudlender, and real estate broker, “Miami” Maggie Dokic.

Lar’s world will soon be tipped on its side—and this is the continuing story of how that comes to pass.

[Episode 2—Lar meets the Strangers by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]:

Medlar “Lar” Farkleberry as he was opening his Danger Bay Star Gas Station (full service only, thank you very much), noticed a gaggle of strangers on the boardwalk of Silverthorns’ Café. Curiosity soon got the better of him:

“Wal, I could do m’books later, I s’pect,” he thought, “an’ nobody’s gonna be by f’gas for an hour or so, p’haps I’ll lock up an’ head over ta Silverthorn’s.”

And that’s just what he did. His heavy work-boots clopped on the boards, as he stepped up on the boardwalk, he saw the strangers through the window, two of them wearing maritime uniforms sitting at the small table, by the front plate-glass window, and four more with one also wearing a maritime outfit (that would be me) at the counter.

“Mornin,” Lar greeted the strangers as he clopped over to the lone remaining stool at the counter and sat down, “welcome ta Danger Bay.”

He received a round of “Morning” and “How are you?” in return from our little entourage, and then he asked: “What brings you folks ta town? Howdja get here, don’t see no car?”

“Came by boat,” I answered, “we’re tied up at the pier.”

“We’re checking out Danger Bay as a place to live,” added Trigg, “At least I am. I’m Isaac Guudlender, but you may call me Trigg.”

Lar, a good judge of character, thought, “This feller smiles a lot, not th’ stab ya in th’ back kinda smile, but th’ honest smile of a happy person.”

Then he said, “Not much here anymore, but th’ blue house across th’ road’s fer sale.”

“We’re also looking for a place,” I said as I placed my mug of really horrible coffee (Jay’s going to have do something about this) down on the counter, “to headquarter our boat and tour operation.”

“I think I kin help ya,” Lar replied (and if you could see his thought bubble—it would be filled with question marks & dollar signs), “Who’re them fellers in the corner? They sure don’t have much ta say.”

“Oh that’s Jay Merton & “Boomer” Jack Boardman,” I answered, smiling, “captain and 1^st officer of the Sparrow. But I’m writing this story, and I won’t let them speak!”

[Episode 3—Dawn aboard the Sparrow by Jay Merton (writing as Molly Halloran)]:

The next morning, a beautiful day was dawning as I stepped into the Captain’s cabin this fine Danger Bay morning. Already there were Captain Jay and 1^st Officer—wait—Trigg was wearing the 1^st officer’s shoulder boards!

“Good morning Jay, Trigg,” I greeted, and then quickly added, “Where’s Boomer?”

“Gone home,” Trigg replied, “to his REAL WORLD—you know the three dimensional one.”

“I’ll soon be leaving as well,” Jay added, “This story is yours, Captain, and you need to tell it without Boomer & me hanging around (Damn fine organically & shade-grown, fair-trade, French Roast coffee this morning—gotta ship some to Silverthorn)!”

“Captain?” I asked, not having paid attention to a word Jay said after that, “Captain?”

“Yes Molly, Captain,” Trigg answered, “and I’m your 1^st officer. Jay asked me to run the headquarters, but after 35 years of pushing a desk at the bank, I’d rather be anywhere than behind a desk again. So, I woke up this morning and found this cap and shirt hanging in my locker.”

“I guess Joe can run the office,” I thought out loud, “I wonder if Maggie would be interested in helping on the boat?”

“I’m confident that you’ll get it all handled,” Jay said, “I really must be off, I need to draw another ship’s officer, and to make Lenn happy, some cars & trucks for the village.” And with that, Jay disappeared.

“Did I tick Jay off with what I wrote yesterday?” I asked, “You know, the part about not letting them speak.”

“Nope,” Trigg replied.

“How do you know?”

“Simple, Jay controls the ‘Delete’ key!”

To be CONTINUED—Chapter Two

Danger Bay—Episode 79—the Tour

Episode story by Ines Hegedus-Garcia, photo-graphics & editing by Boomer Jack Boardman

“Voyage of the Motor Vessel Sparrow” series inspired by Bob Carney.

Previously… Episode 78—MV Sparrow Arrives at Miami Beach:

Several minutes later, they were ready and in the main cabin. They were joined by Molly and Cob.

“Hi guys,” Ines greeted, “You will join us on our tour, no?”

“Where you going?” Molly asked.

“I’m showing off some of Miami’s unique home architecture,” Ines replied with a wide smile, “You’re welcome to join us.”

“Ahhh…” Molly began.

“…Mac, Molly and I,” Cob interjected, “we’re thinking of visiting some of my old Navy hangouts, Trigg and Armstrong are going with us.”

“Stay outta jail,” Bob admonished.

“I’m pretty good at that.”

“Hey, where’s Mac & Boomer?” Lysa asked, noticing their conspicuous absence.

“Getting the bikes unloaded,” Ines replied, “cheaper than renting a car.”

“And more fun!” Lysa laughed, “Remember Bob, wheels down, keep the wheels down!”

“Hey!”

And now, Episode 79:

“I cannot believe we made it to Miami!!” Ines exclaimed, “This has been the best trip ever. Did you guys check out SoFi’s (South of Fifth) development on our way in Government Cut?”

“I’ve been dying to go visit your home Ines,” Sarah said looking out at the pier, “wouldn’t it be great if we could do some diving?”

“Oh what, you think Boomer is a magician with those graphics?” Bob asked, and continued, “I think you’re asking a bit too much…….ahem.”

“Are you sure you want me putting a mask on Bob’s face?” Boomer, having just returned from unloading the bikes, smiled, “Remember the sunglasses!”

“Oh come on guys, we’re getting off at The Miami Shores Boardwalk,” Lysa happily admonished, “Let’s get those bikes purring on Miami Streets!”

“You’d better behave, Bob,” Boomer, fastening Daisy’s “Doggie Ride-Along” restraints & securing her “Doggie Noggin” helmet, cautioned, “or I will make you wear a heavy jacket in 80º weather, and impossible to remove, sort of like sunglasses! Are we going to the Pink House Ines?”

“The Pink House?” Bob, laughing at Boomer’s admonishment, asked, “What is that?”

“Que pasa? Tú no lees mi blog?” Ines replied, “Deberías reconocer esta casa!”

“What’d she say?” Bob asked, “What did you say?”

“Just that you should probably read miamism,” Sarah replied quickly with a wicked grin.

“I musta missed that one!”

“I figured we could see one of Architectonica’s first works that’s right in Miami Shores (where I live, work and play),” Ines began, “Not many people know it’s here and it’s so famous that it appears in all the major Miami Residential design books.”

“Can we see the inside too?” Lysa asked, and then continued, “Hey you guys, put on those leathers, we don’t want any cases of ‘Miami Road Rash’ today!”

“It’s privately owned, but the owner has graciously let us in to see it,” Ines explained, “I’m hoping he opens the house for The Annual Heidi Hewes Chapter of the Woman’s Cancer Association that is held each December – if he reads this, it may be the deal clincher, let’s hope his Google Alerts is going off right now.”

Suffering no “Miami Road Rash,” the Danger Bay Motor Society made their way to “The Pink House.” Mildly surprised by the gaggle of raucous Harley-Davidson motorcycles pulling up in front of the house, he was indeed gracious, and guided our heroes through this remarkable structure.

“What an amazing house that was,” Sarah observed, as they prepared to move on to their next stop, “we certainly don’t have any of those in West Virginia.”

“The view is what got me,” Bob observed, “I don’t even remember what the house looked like.”

Ines, smiling, replied, “That’s exactly what happens to most people when they see the amazing bay views!”

“Where are we going next?” Lysa asked

.

“I was hoping Boomer would bring T to our next tour, knowing she likes historic architecture so much, maybe she’ll hover over us again?” Ines replied, donning her leathers, “We’re going to George Merrick’s house in Coral Gables.”

“Um, ‘T’ said something about ‘Lightning Bolts from Bloggious,’ that would prevent her from joining us. Out of all the historic houses in Miami, why did you pick ‘Merrick’s House’ Ines?” Boomer asked as he struggled into his safety gear, muttering to himself, “stupid two-legged leather chaps.”

“To me, Merrick was a visionary and the first one that brought the whole concept of home ownership in Miami to the rest of the country,” she explained, “His concept for Coral Gables in the 1920’s was to create ‘America’s Mediterranean.’ He saw Miami growing devoid of any plan or thought and he knew there had to be a better way. His home, which is now owned by the City of Coral Gables, can be toured and rented for functions.”

Firing up their not really all that raucous Harleys (they retained the standard mufflers), the “Society” moved on to Coral Gables.

Arriving at the George Merrick house, our heroes quickly shed their road rash preventing leathers and gathered in the front yard.

“Originally named Coral Gables,” Ines began, “this house is important for many reasons – one, it established great parameters for others to follow with regards to design, architecture, use of materials. I’m not going to bore you with all the details; I’ll just point out some important ones:”

• “The house is built of Coral Rock, a native material – which in good architecture is crucial. Why transport materials from other places when you can stay true to local materials?”
• “The wrap-around terraces and deep gabled roofs worked with the South Florida Climate and took advantage of breezes to make the house cooler in hot Summer months.”
• “This house was a good beginning for our Florida Vernacular Architecture which so many sadly ignore (The typical Key West home is a good example of Florida Vernacular).”

After touring the home’s interior, Ines asked, “So what do you guys think? We were able to see History as well as cool architecture - are you guys ready for some fun now?”

“I am still in awe of those coral walls!” Sarah exclaimed, “How in the world did they build it?”

“I’m not even going to say anything, next thing I know, I’ll have permanent goggles on my face,” Bob laughed, “I have been silenced!”

“Boomer, you have some power there with those graphics,” Lysa said quietly, “Whoda thunk it?”

“Ummm, me!” Boomer smiling broadly said, then turning to Ines, said with a hint of suspicion in his voice, “Did you just say “fun?” Ines? Exactly what do you mean by fun?”

“Let’s get back to the Sparrow,” Ines replied, “we have a surprise for you!”

No one, not even our “Motorcycle Safety Mama” Lysa wanted to again don the leathers, so they made use of “H.I.T.S.” and in an almost silent flash of light, they found themselves atop the main cabin of the Sparrow. The pups, Pepper & Daisy, tired from a day of touring and wearing their “Doggie Noggin” helmets, quickly trotted off for well-earned naps.

While standing on the deck of the Sparrow everyone heard a loud engine coming near, it was an orange and white “open fisherman” coming close. The boat’s pilot was waving and Ines started waving happily back.

He pulled up next to the Sparrow and said “Welcome to Miami! Who’s ready for Mojitos?”

Bob did not even think twice - He jumped aboard the boat and said while giving the pilot a friendly handshake, “You must be Rick, I’ve been hearing about your Mojitos for months now and can’t believe I will finally get a chance to taste them, even if they are only ‘virtual Mojitos’.”

“And you must be ‘gotbob’!” Rick replied.

“O-ho!” Bob smiled, “You must read my blog!”

“No, I read your t-shirt.”

“Woooo Hooo! Let’s go!” Lysa and Sarah looking at each other, exclaimed at the same time.

Rick drove the boat South to Boca Chita, an island South of Key Biscayne that can only be reached by boat. The beautiful Boca Chita Light House welcomed them…..

And thus ends of the Voyage of the Motor Vessel Sparrow of the Port of Danger Bay, Minnesota!

My sincere thanks to the “Real World” people who lent their likenesses, talents and good humor to this story:

Cast:

Bob “gotbob” Carney

Sarah “I’m SARAH COOPER DAMMIT” Cooper & Pepper Cooper

Maggie Dokic

Ines Hegedus-Garcia

Lysa “Gypsy” Napolitano

Guest Writers and Guest Stars:

Linda Davis

Lenn Harley

Cameo Appearance:

Rick “the Mojito Maker” Garcia

Lunch with the Boss today—I should be happy, right?

As I enjoy my almost ever-present mug of organically & shade-grown, Fair Trade, French-Roast coffee, on this 48ºF & cloudy morning on the West End of Old Saint Paul, Minnesota (where we are expecting a high today of 68ºF and sunny), I have something to ponder…

Hey, I seldom pass up free food, so of course I’m happy! But, the job comes first, we gotta keep our customers happy, and lunch with the boss plays 2^nd fiddle to that end.

Y’See, the entire gaggle of 4 parts drivers are expected to enjoy this lunch, with no one covering our absence from the highways, byways & dusty roads leading to and from our valued customers.

There are two Saturn operations here in the Twin Cities, Saturn of Saint Paul (one owner with four retail outlets) & the Minneapolis Saturn Retailers (one owner with five stores). Often in car sales, we outsell the Minneapolis operation, and almost always our parts department outperforms our larger competitor, at least in wholesale sales. Why?

Service! We, as drivers, strive to provide the best possible service to our customers, and, we mostly succeed, but there are some customers…I won’t carry that line of thought any farther!

Here’s my dilemma—lunch or service? Hmmmmm…I WILL be hungry at the scheduled 11:30 lunch time…

A View from my Back Porch—Transformation—Winter to Summer

by Boomer Jack

As I enjoy the rather coolish (yeah, yeah, I KNOW “coolish” is NOT a word Mr. Spell Check – GET OVER IT!) 45ºF & clear morning in Saint Paul, Minnesota, and my mug of organically & shade-grown, Fair Trade, French-Roast coffee, on this Monday morning, my gaze drifts to a neighbor’s home.

Its an easy shot, this home, and since last summer I’ve taken the shot several times, and have accumulated a small collection of photos during the passing of the seasons, except Autumn – maybe I did capture it last Autumn and just can’t find the photo. Probably.

No matter, I can get another this coming autumn. Today, however, I present my back porch view of the transformation of winter’s beauty to summer’s beauty.

Minnesota, 150 years!—Minnesota’s 150th Anniversary Today!

Boomer Jack Boardman

My friend & neighbor Erik Hare, writing on the Saint Paul Real Estate Blog, writes of our State’s Sesquicentennial today, of the “perilous times” this country was experiencing in 1858, and of the epic sacrifice of the 1^st Minnesota Volunteer Regiment of Infantry at Gettysburg.

To honor our beloved Minnesota’s 150 years as a state, I have chosen this day to be the first in which I fly our replica 32 star US Flag. Not exactly a traditional day, even from my previously established point of view, to fly the flag, but a fitting day, I believe.